WTJ: Fill in this Page When You are Really Angry

Call me a perfectionist. Or a neat freak. Or anal retentive. Or detail oriented. I don't care. It's what I am. Things in my world have a place, or an order, and if it's mine, I like to keep it that way. I try not to impose my structure and orderliness on anyone else. If you want to leave your things sprawled all over the place, good for you! That's your way. But don't -- DO NOT -- come into my space, and sprawl my things anywhere but where they're supposed to be.

This rant is stemming from a recent experience in my classroom. I'm away one day and I come back to find my window wide open, several of my "good" pens and pencils missing (yes, I have good pens and pencils that are off limits to students), my desk calendar scribbled over, several of my course binders off the shelf, sitting on my desk with scribbles on some of pages inside, and the students' desks in various places throughout the room that they don't belong. And that was all discovered as soon as I got here. Since then I've even found magnetic bookmarkers of mine that have been removed from my textbooks and torn apart. Are you kidding me?

Sigh. 

I hate blog ranting... Sorry. So, to be more visual I wrecked my journal today as a different kind of anger outlet.

My apologies to anyone who had to read this on Facebook, Twitter, and now here. I do appreciate your patronage, though.  

PS. I'm aware of the melodrama dripping from this WTF WTJ page.

WTJ: Rub Here With Dirt

Today's return to Wreck This Journal is a post marred by self-pity and just a general need to vent.

You've been warned.

When I opened my journal today, looking for something to do to take my mind of the headache of a class I had just "taught," the words on this page jumped out at me.

"Rub Here With Dirt"

It is a metaphor of sorts.

The arrows might as well be pointing at me; the instructions directed at my students.

Most days, when they leave, I feel the need to shower to scrub off all of the crap they throw at me for 60 minutes -- complaints, comments of an inappropriate and somewhat sexually explicit nature, sarcasm, defiance, blah, blah-blah, blah-blah...

In essence, I feel covered in dirt. They leave my room in an absolute mess of their personal garbage and filthy attitudes.

To rejuvenate myself today, though, I transferred that mess, that dirt, into my journal. It was a transferral of the mess they make of my class, to a little mess on a blank page of a journal just begging for it.

Take that, obnoxious students journal!

And anyway, it was really only one hour of my day. I'm actually pretty lucky. Once they stampede out of here, I'm left alone for lunch and prep in one of the few classrooms with a window and green leafy plants (where I got the dirt from), so I can admire the spring sunshine and decompress with a blog post.

Thanks for listening! to the melodramatic ranting of a teacher.

WTJ: Bring This Book in the Shower with You

Eventually it had to come to this.

Part of my whole journey toward living a fuller, happier life has reached that moment that I had been dreading.
It's time to not just take care of my inside, but to work out the outside too.

Enter: The Gym.

Truth be told, it's not nearly as scary a place as I thought. It turns out, I quite like it there. Granted, I'm only one week into my brand new membership, but I've been there nearly every day and haven't even complained once. Not even when I've woken up everyday this week with a new sore muscle. I just tell myself: "That means it's working."

AND, just as it might happen, the stationary bike (the one where you kind of sit back in a little seat and peddle -- Sort of like a banana bicycle), is a great place to get some reading done. I just peddle my heart out and before I know it, 1 hour, 45 minutes, 20-30 minutes has gone by, and I'm done with my cardio for the day!

But, the best part of all is that great feeling I get when I get back to the house and jump in the shower knowing I've done something super awesome for myself.

Today, Wreck This Journal joined me in celebrating my awesome morning workout.

It wasn't easy... And I'm still very sad at having ruined some completed pages, but isn't that the point? Maybe I'll feel better once the pages have dried.

In the meantime, I'll just feel happy with my healthier lifestyle.

WTJ: Cover This Page With Office Supplies

It looks like celebrations are in order. After one week in Toronto I've gotten myself hooked up with a full-time contract teaching position at an independent school! I don't start until January, and it's a random assignment without any English classes, but that's okay. No English means less marking and more time for pleasure-reading instead of school-reading which is obviously a benefit for me... Though don't get me wrong, I loooove teaching English.

Anyway! The timing couldn't be more perfect since today is World Teachers Day!

So, to commemorate both the new job and the international day for teachers everywhere I cracked open my just a bit dusty Wreck This Journal and completed pages 71 and 72: Cover This Page With Office Supplies.

Post-its for notes and page marking, staples, tape of the masking and Scotch varieties, paper clips big and small, rubber bands, white-out tape, highlighter, and the all-powerful Sharpie were put to good use, and appropriately all things you are likely to find in a teacher's desk.

The colours and randomness make me very happy ... But not nearly as happy as my new job.

WTJ: Make a Paper Chain

There's a simple answer for why I've been absent from the blog for a couple of weeks...

Wedding Season!

That's right, as June rolled in, so did another wedding season. This year, I have an unprecedented 10 weddings, only 8 of which I can attend, unfortunately.

So, about a week ago, as friends of mine exchanged vows, I began to break in my dancing shoes (and sure, okay, I shed a few tears too), as I geared up for a very busy 3 month-long wedding season like no other! *This is a link for the adult readers.*

I'm just now feeling refreshed enough to take to the blog with a renewed spirit to write and create. I also took to my journal, and to celebrate the party-spirit that accompanies all great weddings, I made a paper chain. You know, those silly paper things you used to make in grade school to decorate for class parties?

Umm... Fun! And what puts you in the mood for a wedding more than fun!? (I guess, love, romance... and hell, even friendship would have been better answers, but I'm going to stick with fun).

Bring it on, wedding season! I'm ready for you! 1 down, 7 to go! (And I can't wait!)

WTJ: Write One Word Over and Over

Here's a special musical post brought to you by Wreck This Journal:

I think I've made it clear before that music is a pretty special and important thing where I'm from.

At least, to me.

My past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of musical activity, and I'm excited to share some of it here. Especially since that's largely why I haven't written anything since the double posts on June 6th.

First thing's first: NKOTBSB... That's right. The large and somewhat nonsensical abbreviation for the classic combination of the New Kids on the Block and the Backstreet Boys. (They get to share the first B).

Wednesday, June 8th, my concert dreams came true when after 15 years of waiting, I got to see the Backstreet Boys live in concert in Toronto! (Throw in the classic boy man band greatness of the New Kids on the Block, and wow! What a show!) It was a spectacular trip down music-memory lane and truth be told, those guys still have it very much "goin' on." (That's a BSB reference you'll have to look back to the first album to decipher).

Days before the boy band concert I also got my hands on some tickets for the Blink 182/My Chemical Romance show at the Molson Amphitheatre in Toronto in August. Though I have already seen them once in concert before, I was only 14, and so I am sure that 11 years later it's sure to be a completely different experience ... One I am TOO excited for!

Finally, last night, to bring my musical week to a close, I curled up on the couch to watch the Tony Awards, a celebration of the year on Broadway! (It seems I have a bit of an ecclectic taste with regard to music)... Some presentations blew me away (Hello, Harry Potter Daniel Radcliffe, the ladies from Sister Act, and Andrew Rannells from The Book of Mormon)... And then Mr. Neil Patrick Harris was, of course, fabulous, er, awesome, as the "straight-as-they-come" host for the evening. I'll leave you with an example of what I mean. Enjoy!

WTJ: Climb Up High... Drop the Journal.

It's been a slow, slow week of supply teaching for me. 1 call out in 5 days. Not great. But it's June, and that's to be expected.

What was unexpected was on my 1 day in the classroom this week, the high schools were on a "late start" so the teachers could participate in a workshop in the morning. This means, I got to attend. The topic was "Differentiated Instruction." Anyone who has attended a Teacher Education program in the last few years can understand the internal groan that coarsed through me when I found out. DI is a fantastic approach to teaching, but the topic itself is so exhausted in BEd programs, workshops, memos, etc. that I find it hard to believe there's anything left to say about it.

My instincts on this were correct; there was not a whole lot of new information presented. There was however, one "fact" or "statistic" that caught my attention (for obvious reasons):

"25% of people are book lovers. We must find ways to engage the other 75%."

There was no summary offered for where this data came from, and for all I know it could just be one of those random statistics people make up. (Did you know that 75% of the time facts and statistics are simply made up?)

However, with this stat in mind, I would like to dedicate today's WTJ activity to the other 75%. If you don't love books, you'd probably love to do something like this...

Just so you know, I dropped it out of a second-storey window.

WTJ: Make a Paper Airplane

A note on the duality of airports.

In the past few years of my life I've become a bit of an unwilling expert on long distance relationships and inevitably the airport.

Apart from being an expensive place, (where I'm from, anyway), it is primarily a confusing one.

The airport is a lot like a koala bear. It lures you in with its cute, cuddly exterior... but in the end it will not hesitate to rip your face off.

Okay, so airports are neither cute, cuddly, nor can they rip your face (or anything else) off, really. (I'm sure there are arguments against the latter, but I'm not hearing them at the moment).

My point is, (and I always have one), airports can always start off my weekends with arguably one of the happiest moments of a visit from the boyfriend, but they end my visit with undoubtedly the worst moment. The arrival gate is the cute, cuddly koala... The departure gate is that same koala but with the claws out and the teeth bared.

It's difficult to even look at an airplane, let alone an airPORT, without feeling the tightening in my chest that accompanies that feeling of not knowing what to feel...

So you can understand why this WTJ activity would be so difficult...

I'm sure another part of the problem is that I have almost no idea how to properly make a paper airplane, either...

As with any duality, I suppose I just have to take the good with the bad. I will continue to rejoice at the arrivals gate while I keep one slightly disapproving glare over my shoulder at the departures... Until of course, it's my turn to fly out town somewhere great. Then departures and I will be great friends.

And the duality deepens...

WTJ: Make a Funnel

One of the most refreshing things about Spring and the onset of Summer is getting to do things outside that you've had no choice but to do inside for the long Canadian winter.

An obvious example of this, and favourite of mine, is reading.

However, I'm quickly beginning to find a great enjoyment in blogging outside as well. It takes a little bit of practice looking at the highly reflective monitor of my laptop for a long period of time, but after a while I've stopped noticing the look of deep concentration on my face looking back at me and can focus simply on the words I'm typing.

I just feel like there's so much more to inspire me when I'm outside in the sun, with the birds singing, and the neighbours out mowing their lawns creating that Summer-specific smell of cut grass. The wind chimes clinking. The school bell from the neighbourhood elementary school ringing. The neighbours shouting obscenities at each other. There's no greater setting in which to do a little reading, a little writing, and a little Wreck This Journaling.

Yes, it's Springtime and I'm going to enjoy it, outside, with my books, my laptop, and a little funnel of WTJ water.

WTJ: Journal Golf

The antithesis to the "Cheers" theme song is that sometimes you want to go where no one knows your name; or in my case, where only 1 person knows your name (but really well).

So, that's exactly what the boyfriend and I had in mind when we packed it up and spent the weekend in farm country, just the two of us.

We did some reading, practiced our golf swings, sat in the sun, strolled through town, ate watermelon, drank wine (for me) and beer (for him), and just luxuriated in the peacefulness that is the Ontario countryside (random cow mooing and sheep bleeting included).

Needless to say, when I woke up this morning in my own bed, 600 kilometres away from there and him (long distance relationships are the worst), with an afternoon of supply teaching looming over my head, I immediately closed my eyes and longed for the weekend that seemed to pass by in blink.

Needing to rekindle a little bit of that blissful magic I turned to WTJ to see what it could offer, and staring me in the face was "Journal Golf."

It may not be real golf in the scenic countryside with my man alongside me perfecting my swing, but it could do for now.

 Although, around here, as in the "Cheers" song, everybody knows my name. And after my front yard journal golfing experience, everybody also probably thinks I'm crazy.

WTJ: Tear Out...Crumple.

Welcome to the new and improved "Turning the Page." Well, actually, the only thing that's improved is the look. I just felt it was time for a cleaner and less cheesy design. Hopefully you like it and find it easier to read.

 

However, between the design update and creating nearly 200 invitations for my sister's wedding, I am fresh out of creativity and could only muster enough creative energy to do this:

Sidenote: I still can't believe I just ripped out a page from a book.......

WTJ: Document Your Dinner

A few weeks ago I wrote about shaping up for summer with some solid workouts. Well, I'm still working on that. And after seeing how absolutely stunning Catherine the Duchess of Cambridge looked Friday at the Royal Wedding I have been newly inspired to keep working at it. I've got some weddings coming up myself this summer, and it'd be great if I could look half as good in a dress as she did.

However, I have a weakness. A big one. Food. I'm really not that willing to give up too many of the foods I love. Ice cream. Chips. Breads... Try as I might, they always find their ways into my mouth and inevitably my stomach.

Take this for example. It might be some of the best pizza in existence. And I say this knowing I have a few international readers.

A few inches off my waist just might not be worth giving up this kind of saucy and cheesy and greasy gloriousness.

Mmmm....

WTJ: Chew On This

This past weekend I went on a shopping roadtrip in Michigan with my mom, cousin, and aunt. In only one and a half days I went many places for the first time, and I did a few things for the first time.

It was my first time in many of the stores we shopped in. It was my first time eating at some of the restaurants we ate at. It was the first time (in a long time) that I really went a little crazy and spent money on myself and bought things I didn't necessarily need but wanted instead.  And it was the first time I ever took pictures of a stranger's food in a restaurant. ...But look at this! How could I not!? 



On the left, the standard pound of bacon that comes with any breakfast order and all BLTs.

On the right, the towering banana split made with half a gallon of ice cream and 2 bananas.

So, now that I'm home and back to my regularly scheduled programming, I thought I'd try one more thing for the first time. This is by far the weirdest of all of my firsts: I chewed on a page from my journal. (Only after my journal's insistence of course).  Weird...



...And a little gross.

WTJ: Draw Lines While in Motion...

The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. The ice in the pool is melting. And that can only mean one thing... Bathing suit season is just around the corner.

Don't misunderstand me. I'm not one of those girls who gets all stressed out that I don't look exactly like Giselle in a bikini. I've long since accepted the fact that my curvier 5"3 frame will never grace the centrefold of a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.  But every Spring I am reminded that I have lived a less than healthy winter and want to do my best to feel absolutely great about myself once those rays of sun are at their shiniest.

I don't like getting winded walking up a flight of stairs. And though I am far from being obese, a long winter of hibernation tends to take its toll.

So, for the past few weeks I've gotten myself back into a routine of some cardio and Pilates, and despite my ever increasing frustration with how long of a process it can be to start seeing results, I can definitely say I'm feeling them. My stiff knee has more mobility, I feel stronger, I get less winded on the stairs, and generally, I just have more energy. (I sound like I'm approaching 80 years old, instead of being a 20something).

To remind myself of how good I feel I documented today's workout in a WTJ exercise. Instructed to "draw lines while in motion," I did just that while doing my cardio this morning. Though the overall hideousness of the drawing could represent my frustration over a lack of visible results so far, I think in the long run it'll remind me to just go ahead get active. Whenever I flip past that page I'll think, "Hey! Remember what it was like to be active?" and go for it.

WTJ: Fill This Page With Circles

It goes without saying that in our lives things will happen and people will say or do things that we don't like or will frustrate us beyond belief.  I would say that it's inevitable.  But it's what we choose to do with those negative feelings that will make or break us.

I had such a day, and instead of slamming my head against a desk, or throwing a toddler-like tantrum, I took a page out of Wreck This Journal and filled it with circles instead.

I'm well known for needing a mental time-out sometimes, and today my journal saved me. All it took was a good 10 minutes or so and all of the wrongs of my day have been righted with the colourful repetition of circles.

Thanks again, Journal.

WTJ: Glue, Staple, or Tape These Pages Together

Today has been the kind of day where every time I make a move to do something I stop and say "But if I do that, then....." It's a self-sabotaging habit that I picked up growing up that I never really realized I suffer from.  I wonder if you do too?

Consider the consequences of our actions.  For every action there is a reaction.  From childhood, different variations of these "words of wisdom" are drilled into our heads at home and at school.  Even now, as a supply teacher, I find myself sharing the "think of the consequences of your behaviour" gem on the regular to students of all ages.

But I wonder if this nugget of wisdom ever holds me back from taking risks or chances on things in life that could make me happy.

I started calling all of this into question with today's journal activity.  When asked to fasten two pages together, instead of just going for it, I stopped and said: "But if I do that, then you won't be able to read this page anymore!" and "But if I do that, then I will have ripped up this page for nothing!"  What I ended up doing was making a compromise.  (Please feel free to judge me for talking to, and compromising with, an inanimate object... I do). 

I stapled the pages together in a way that still showcases the torn strips and the instructions on the following page.  I'm not sure it's exactly what the author of the journal had in mind, but my constant need to evaluate the consequences of my actions lead me to act in a way that had a similar result but with less "negative consequences." (I use the quotation marks because, let's face it, they're hardly negative consequences... It's just a book after all. But I'm trying to make a point).

My point is (see?), that it likely would have been a lot more fun and less work on my part to just act.  Get the glue and smoosh those pages together without worrying about what comes after.  It's a really appealing thought, and I wonder if sometimes it's better for me to not analyze every single consequence of every single action.

WTJ: Tear Strips. Rip it up!

There is no starting slow with this journal. It gets right down to business. Rip up a page!? Really!?

I couldn't even fathom it. Hence the short hiatus from WTJ posts. But who knew tearing pages would be a little like eating Pringles: Once I started [popped] I couldn't stop! I enjoyed the smooth ripping, the tearing sound, and the small little release I got from destroying something.  That sounds a little darker than I intend, but with all of the "crap" life throws at you sometimes, it was nice to relieve a little frustration with some constructive destruction. I sound pure evil right now, but I swear it was really more like this ...

As they say, simple minds, simple pleasures.

WTJ: Do Some Rubbings with a Pencil

Wreck This Journal frequently asks me to tap into my inner artist. Though I've never been completely capable with a pencil in my hand (Re: Art and Math), I have always enjoyed designing things ... especially once computers came into my life.

My most recent "design project" was working on Stag and Doe tickets for my sister and her fiance.  That's where I took the inspiration for today's Wreck This Journal exercise. Armed with my pencil, and whatever knowledge I still had lingering from Gr. 9 Art class, I created this "masterpiece."

Adapted from . . .



This is just a generic version of the ticket... Edited for privacy reasons.


It may never find its way into the Louvre, but it has been pretty fun to reconnect with a more creative me. Who knew wrecking my journal would become such an artistic endeavour?

WTJ: Scribble Wildly, Violently, with Reckless Abandon

2 words: CRAY-ONS! ...Okay, that's 1 word, but SO FUN is 2 words, and that's exactly what this page was.

When was the last time you scribbled recklessly with with crayons?  Grade school?  Probably.

I challenge you to pull out that old box of colourful waxy goodness (or go buy a box if you aren't so fortunate to have classic Crayolas laying around) and reconnect with a younger you!  I'm not sure if it was the act of colouring, the colours themselves, or that unmistakable wax-arific aroma, but I feel great!  What a wonderful way to start my day!

Thanks, Crayola!

Note: I realize the instructions for this page were to scribble wildly, violently, etc, etc. And I think I did. But my inner perfectionist needed to add the decorative frame... I'm getting there.

WTJ: Scratch Using a Sharp Object

This was like running nails on a chalkboard.

I mostly used a mangled paper clip and sometimes chimed in with a push pin.  It felt awful, and it resulted in tearing through the pages. Basically, this was the least fun activity I've had to do to date. So I'm happy to get it out of the way so I can get on with scribbling, tearing, stickering, and otherwise dirtying my journal.

Note: I realize the goal is to destroy my journal with a reckless abandon, but I find I try my hardest to destroy it in the most organized ways I possibly can. This is, perhaps, something I need to work on.